A few days ago I had a dream where I was trying to get somewhere, apparently treatment in this dream, but I kept getting lost. I couldn't get on the right path. I couldn't catch whatever bus or train I needed to. In general, I was completely lost. I would ask people how to get to such-and-such and they would lead me in the right direction, only to have me screw it up by getting turned around once any direction or street change needed to be taken. Somehow I ended up at my parents' house. My Mom was furious at me for continually having such situations. She agreed to take me to work (not the location I initially dreamed.) Various little things kept this from happening though.
When I woke up I realized I was dreaming about being late and being unable to get anywhere because I was late to work.
Then last night I had a nightmare. It involved murders, twins, and being captured. I can't really explain the story though.
Last night I also had a dream where I was in my extremely messy apartment (like it is now) and all of a sudden there were leaks in the ceiling in random places. I was wondering where the leaks were coming from and how to get them to stop. I also was scared to let the building manager know because of the mess.
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Sounds like you might feel you can't take care of yourself and wish you could be under your Mom's protection.
ReplyDeleteBut, actually, no one can better know what you need than yourself. If you have the time, start by cleaning up your apartment. If you feel it's messy, then it is. (Of course, that dream could mean that you feel your inside life - your thoughts, feelings, needs, desires - are going to be critized if you let anyone else know about them. Makes it hard to get close to anyone, if you won't let them in.)Start by revealing a little of the truth in therapy - but don't start by saying:"I know this will sound crazy." Just jump in and say it.
Oh, and change the tittle of your blog to Kaz-celebra or Kaz-and-effect. Time to stop being so negative!
Hey there. First, thank you for reading and commenting.
ReplyDeleteYour insight is quite interesting.
I am not sure that I really want to be under my Mom's protection. I think the fact that she initially was upset with me about the situation implies that I am not seeing her as a fix-all.
My apartment is definitely messy and I plan on remedying that this weekend (it is a long weekend for me.)
I am working on being more open with my thoughts, feelings, needs, etc. I have made some decent progress in this respect and I am hoping to continue to progress. I have found that it is usually easier for me to write down these things and just read them to my therapist. In a way it is easier because I am not "attached" to the words when they are on paper. It is more like I am reading a story or something.
Do you mean this blog or my main one? I chose Kaztastrophe because at one point when I was thinking about trying out for roller derby, I was thinking it might be a good derby name. ;)